Kindergarten Stories of late

So, as you know already, I am filling in at summer school with three schools worth of Kindergärtners and first graders (apparently kindergartners isn't actually a word because when the spell check comes up on it, it converts it into some German looking word, notice the two dots over the a). Now, during the school year I do work in an elementary school so i AM around these age kids.  However, I think just the pure amount of cognitive ability lacking is too much for me. I quickly lose patience with kids who after 3 weeks of summer school are STILL crying for their mommy (sorry to all the mom's out there who would be delighted to hear that their child is missing them at school!:) ).I'm tired of clapping my hands in a rhythm that is supposed to be clapped back at me but instead I just get wide eyed stares and sporadic, non-rhythmic clapping. And I'm especially tired of hearing teachers say "1,2,3 eyes on me" and the students responding "1,2 eyes on you" (again no offense to teachers, how else are you supposed to get their attention?!) But, on some days, it does make for funny stories. 

1.) Little kids first real independent experience with a public restroom occurs at school. This is a recipe for disaster. Today (and oh i have so many more bathroom stories) there was quite a ruckus going on in the boys bathroom and since the wall of my office is shared with the bathroom, I was forced by necessity to investigate. Two boys were playing near the handicapped stall, one in and one out trying to get in. I called them over(mind you, trying  not to breathe because little boys also have not learned how to hit the toilet yet...possibly big boys too:) ) and asked them what they were doing. Neither was willing to answer me and one of the boys slunk back into the bathroom stall. So as I am talking with the other boy, telling him to use another stall and to hurry up, he is taking his sweet time, looking under each stall. I finally point him to the last one that is clearly empty and just as he is opening the door, the first boy comes strolling out of THAT stall. Yes, he had crawled on the floor under 4 different stalls, kept the handicapped one locked and came out the last stall. So I made him crawl back under the stall and unlock it and rushed him to class. 

2. ) Chip day is a bad day because Kindergartners cannot open them. One little girl said today as she was asking me to open her chips" Just a little bit longer and I'll be a grown up and able to open my own chip bag!"

3.) They send all the criers to me. Apparently being a social worker  entitles me to also stop small kids from crying. Anyways,  he was crying under the pretense that he missed his mom but social work has also given me the ability to read between the lines and get to the real issue. The real issue here was that he did not want to take a nap. "Naps are for babies" is what he said. I wanted to point out that he was bawling kind of like a baby but again held my tongue because the kid was 5. :) Instructed him he still had to follow adult instructions and needed to go back to class and take a nap with the rest of the kids. 

So, that's my school update for the week. One more week left of work and then I'm done, done, done!!!!and it's full on wedding planning and move planning!!