2 months!

8 weeks!!

It is so hard to believe our little baby is 8 weeks already!! and sometimes it feels like she has never not been a part of our family. We have been truly blessed with a beautiful baby. She has a great temperament and doesn't cry too much. In the past 2 week she has started really smiling, giving me her biggest smile when I get her out of her crib in the morning. Oh, yes, she is now out of her moses basket and sleeping in her crib. She looks so small in that big crib! She has started cooing and giggling. We can carry on whole conversations that consist of "gooooo, gaaaahh, oooh, ewwww", it's pretty sweet.  As if my English hasn't gotten bad enough living in a foreign country, now I speak baby talk half the day. . . Anyways, she has been sleeping through the night for over a week now. She usually goes to bed between 9:30 and 10:30 and sleeps anywhere from 6-8am. Then gets up to feed and goes back to sleep for another 2-3 hours. It's pretty sweet, I'm not gonna lie. Now if I can just get used to all her noises at night, I might get a peaceful night's sleep myself!:)

We've decided to stop breastfeeding, as much as it pains me. The last week or so, she has stopped drinking from me and will scream bloody murder anytime I try to even get her close. I think she has maybe gotten used to the bottle, I don't really know. So we decided since I'm only producing barely an ounce anyways, it's not worth the fight each time. It's a hard decision but nothing went right from the beginning in that area. Hopefully with the next baby things will be different. I'm just glad I got to feed her for the 2 months I did. It's such a special time.

Ellie was supposed to have her first round of vaccinations on Monday. We wanted to go an alternative route and have our general practioner administer them. In the Netherlands, they have a clinic called the Consulatatie Bureau, who does all the preventive medicine for children up to the age of 4. So she goes monthly to be weighed, measured, head circumference, hip checks, etc. They are also the ones who typically vaccinate the children. However, after much research, we decided that the Hepatitis B vaccine was unnecessary for Ellie at this point. Maybe something to look at later  (especially since schools in the US require it, but we'll fight that fight when it's time) but right now we felt it was best for her not to receive something that just seems extraneous.  So because of this, she couldn't receive her vaccinations at the CB, because they have it mixed in with the other vaccinations in one shot. So we went through craziness to figure out how to have it done some place else and long story short, our huisarts said she would do it, we just had to pay for it. But when I went to the pharmacy to pick up the vaccinations to take with me to her doctor's appointment, they didn't have it and said something was wrong with the vaccine and they weren't sure when they'd get it in. Dan and I were both on the fence anyways about giving her so many vaccines so early, we both just felt a little uneasy. So we talked more that night and continued tons of research and decided that in addition to opting out of the Hep B vaccine, we were going to do an alternate time schedule for her vaccines as well. We're not sure what that's going to look like yet but we do know it means waiting a little bit longer before starting her vaccines. After all of this decision making, wondering if we were making the right decision for our daughter, we have officially decided that parenting is hard. :)

And in final news, Ellie had her 8 week checkup today and she weighs 4640grams or 10.2lbs. She gained a pound since her 4 week check-up and only grew 1 cm! The doctor said she looks really great, alert and strong.  She'll go back again right before we leave for the States for a month.

Refletions on the first weeks. . .

Now that life has settled into somewhat of a routine, I feel like I am out of survival mode and can share some of my thoughts about these first 8 weeks.  I find it easier to organize my thoughts into a list sometimes so here ya go!

1. The first week or two of having a baby sucks. I'm just gonna put it out there. Of course you love them and are amazed that you have grown this little miniature human inside of you but now that they are here, you are left to wonder what the heck to do with them! And while they're adorable, that's just not enough to get you through the screaming at 3am after you haven't slept for 3 days. And newborns don't do anything!They just lay there, staring at you with suspicious eyes(did anyone else's baby have suspicious eyes the first few weeks? Ellie certainly did!). Dan kept asking me, "when is she going to do something?" and although he knew the answer, those first days you want something from them in return for all the craziness you are going through. I think people who have already had babies should talk about this more often because it's nice to know you're not the only one who feels this way.

2. That being said, the amount of love you feel for someone so tiny is amazing. How can you love someone who offers you virtually nothing those first few days/weeks? It seems very similar to God's love for us. We are selfish, always needing something from Him, offering very little back to Him yet He loved us so much He sent His Son to die for us! I feel like I can grasp that just a tiny bit better now after having Ellie. It's amazing how all these major life events (marriage, baby, etc) can give you even more insight and glances into the character of God.

3. I never knew I could be covered in 3 different bodily fluids, all in a span of 15 minutes. ugh. 

4. The crazy hormones after having a baby are just as bad as the hormones while you were pregnant! I'm sure Dan is tired of hearing that excuse when I go crazy on him:) but it's true!! It's so easy to go from blissfully happy to raging mad to hysterically crying and back to blissfully happy all in a span of 30 minutes. Sometimes I think he just sits back and silently laughs at me (he knows better than to laugh out loud at those times! :) ).

5. The quiet moments after a feeding when you and baby are just looking at each other(after the suspicious eyes stage has passed of course) and you can tell she is studying your face.

6. We are still trying to figure out who she looks like. Neither Dan nor I see either of us in her. However, everyone and I mean everyone, says that she looks like Dan, especially in the eyes. Random people at church, who I don't even know, are telling me she looks like her dad. It's great because Dan has beautiful eyes.

7. And on the other hand, it surprises me how much it bothers me that no one says she looks like me. It's silly I know and I'm glad I married such a good looking man that could pass on his good looking genes. 

8. Don't anyone start telling me how much Ellie looks like me! I'll know it's a lie to make me feel better:) And for those who have already said that they see me in her (the 1 or 2 people), you are my new best friends.

9. No one told me that I might have hallucinations the first few weeks after she was born! I would wake up in a panic, thinking that she was in the bed with us and buried under the covers. I would frantically start searching for her until Dan would wake up and realize what I was doing and stop me, reminding me that she was in her bed. This happened on a daily basis for the first 2 weeks and then periodically thereafter. I would literally be digging through the blankets to find her, aware of what I was doing and knowing we had put her in her bed but convinced that she was somehow suffocating under the covers. Ugh, it was horrible. I'm pretty sure it was due to sleep deprivation.

10. I have discovered what a blessing a baby sling is. I can put her in that thing, all crunched up in there, and she falls right asleep the moment I start walking. Love it!

11. You are never more popular than when you have a newborn with you. I mean EVERYBODY is so happy for you. It's great!

12. I learned quickly those first few weeks that being a parent means giving a lot up and over to God. There is SO much to worry about that it can be paralyzing but when I finally was able to let that go and realize that I have no control anyways, it was such a blessing! 

13. Dressing up babies is fun. 

14. Cloth diapers are easy! and cute!!  I do laundry every other day, day and a half and voila! that's it! For all you naysayers who were taking bets about how long I'd last doing cloth diapers, I will be expecting my money when I return in November. :)

15. Last but not least, I know I said in a previous post that I didn't believe people who said that you forget the pain of childbirth but I guess it's a little true. I'm at the point where the thought of having another baby doesn't send me into a state of shock at the absurdity. Babies are pretty cute. . .if you can survive the first few weeks.

France

Wow! It's been a busy last 3 weeks! After my parents left, we had a week without any visitors and then Dan's mom came. It's so nice having family here to help and see Ellie! Cheyrl just left toady but we  had a lot of fun while she was here. We decided to take a trip so we rented a car and headed for France. Ellie was 3 weeks old and did fabulous!! We wanted to stay in Ertreat our first night, but by the time we got there, there were no more hotel rooms in the whole town! It's a beautiful seaside down with alabaster cliffs that are famous for artists to paint.

Also, they look like elephants, as you can see in the background. Unfortunately it was getting late and we still didn't have a place to stay for the night so we had to keep driving and didn't spend much time there. We continued South to La Havre and then on to Honfleur. It seemed impossible to find a hotel! We finally ended up in Caen, where we spent the night. That was our 2 year anniversary and due to the lateness of our arrival, our anniversary dinner consisted of McDonald's. :) But Cheyrl did watch Ellie that night so we were able to have our own room and get a full night's rest! Best night of sleep in 3 weeks! The next day we got breakfast at a French bakery and walked around, looking at an old church.

We then headed for the D-day beaches at Normandy. We went to the American Military Cemetery and Memorial and if you ever get the chance, you should definitely go. It was very moving and just amazing to stand above the beach and think about the soldiers who stormed those beaches and climbed the cliffs to fight the Germans.

  We also went down to the actual beach and put Ellie's feet in the sand. She was already mad because she was hungry so she didn't really enjoy it that much but we did!:)  From there we drove down to Mont St. Michel. It was beautiful and amazing. This place has one of the fastest rising tides in Europe. One time we were there and the tide was out and the land surrounding the abbey was dry and walkable. Later, it was completely under water.
Dan and I got to go out to a proper dinner for our anniversary while Cheyrl watched Ellie. We went at night and explored the island and walked up the stairs to the abbey. The next day we went back and took Ellie up and explored inside the abbey (it was nearly closed the night before).

On our way to Belgium, we stopped at a town in France for dinner. It was kind of a nightmare. All we wanted was a little French food but first we had to try and find parking somewhere, which is a monstrous feat there. Once we finally found a place, it was about to start storming so we had to rush quickly into one of the closest restaurants. Funny, turned out to be a TexMex restaurant. . .in France. haha! However the man who ran the place was very nice and seemed very excited to have some Americans eating his TexMex. We even signed his "guestbook".

We wrapped up the trip in Belgium and bought lots of chocolates ( I will save Cheyrl here and not say how much chocolate she bought :) ).  It was a fun trip where we made lots of great memories with Ellie!

Dedication

This morning was Ellie's baby dedication at church. It was kind of a last minute decision to do it this Sunday but we wanted to do it while we had family in town so someone from our family could be there. Luckily our church is flexible and could accommodate our request. 
For those who maybe have never been to a baby dedication, it's basically a time where a blessing is said over the baby and parents and we make a dedication before the Church and before God that we will do our best to raise Ellie to know God. That we will set examples for her and teach her about God so that when she is able to make her own decision regarding her faith, she has a good foundation and will know the character of God. The church also makes a dedication to hold us accountable to raising her in Godly ways and while we will only be here for 2 more years, this church plays an important role since we don't have any family here. 
It was a great day with lots of friends, including some from Dan's work who came just to see Ellie dedicated! We are very blessed to have great friends here when we are so far away from home and family. Here are some pictures from the day! 

Also this weekend we went to Matteo's kraamfeest. Matteo is the son of our friends Kindra and Samuel and he was born 2.5 weeks before Ellie(although he was actually 3 weeks early!). A kraamfeest is kind of like a baby shower after the baby is born. This was the first time that both babies were awake together. 

Weekend Fun

Life has been getting a little less crazy and a little more under control lately. And when I say "under control" , I really mean that we aren't running out of the room gagging when she starts pooping or scrambling for anything to put under her when she starts peeing while changing her diaper. We are getting out more and while it's still an event every time we go out, it's getting easier. The first time we went out on our own to take my parents to the airport, I packed a bottle, complete with formula and water but then forgot the nipple for her to drink. Luckily, she stayed fast asleep in her sling and we made it home without needing to feed her. But we are getting the hang of things now.

This weekend we ventured out quite a bit. On Saturday we walked around the market and Ellie went to her first "Belgian Beer Cafe" with me, Dan, and Ed. She had a meltdown at the end and I had to zoom her home in her stroller while the boys paid. The baby was hungry and screaming bloody murder. Hmm, remember when I said we were getting the hang of taking everything with us? Whoops. But I got her home, got the stroller disassembled and her bassinet part taken upstairs, all by myself, with her still screaming. I tried to feed her  on me first  ( as we are trying to just give her whatever she can get from me, as little as it may be-then giving her the formula afterwards) but she wasn't having it so I had to make a bottle with sweat streaming down my face and near tears because she had been screaming for a good 15-20 minutes by this time. Ahh but it's amazing what sweet relief a little food brings.

After this, we regrouped and headed out for our friend's house for a bbq. It was a lot of fun with friends and almost felt like things were back to normal. It was good to get out and do something we were familiar with! Our friends, KIndra and Samuel, also had a baby 2 weeks before Ellie was born (she was actually due 2 weeks after but baby Matteo had other plans!) and they were there and it's so fun to see the two babies together, so close in age! They haven't officially met yet because they're always sleeping when we are together but soon!!!

This morning we made our first voyage to church for baby Matteo's dedication. It's a very tricky ballgame getting all of us ready to go in time to catch the bus. No bike for me yet and she's still too small to put on a bike so we are left hoofing it or taking the bus. We walked to the bbq the day before and I was a little sore afterwards so we took the bus to church. She was not happy being in her stroller on the bus so Dan held her and she loved looking around. Church went great and she slept in my arms pretty much the whole time except for a few times where she woke up and just took everything in around her. She got to meet a lot of new people and got to show off her pretty peony dress that grandma bought her! Have to put her in the summer clothes while this weather allows!

Here are a few pics of her weekend! Dan's mom arrives tomorrow morning so we'll head back to the airport to get her and let Ellie meet her other grandma!! So excited!

On our own

Well, we have been on our own for 3 days now and Eleanor is still alive and kickin'! My parents left Sunday morning and we were all so sad to see them go.  We went with them to the airport, which meant Ellie's first bus ride and train ride. We carried her in her sling and she slept the whole time! She liked being all snuggly with grandma for the trip there. Since they left, we've been trying to figure out things on our own. She is doing so well with her feeding and sleeping. I mentioned in the last post that we've been having trouble with breastfeeding. The second night she was home, she screamed pretty much the entire night and we realized the next morning that she was hungry because she wasn't getting anything from me. We started supplementing with formula that day at the advice of the midwife and waited for my milk to come in. We waited and waited and waited. We rented a hospital grade breast pump that day and I started pumping every 3 hours to try and jump start my milk supply. Even with all the pumping, I was only getting less than 1/2 an ounce total. On Wednesday, we finally called a lactation consultant who came over that afternoon and showed us how to latch her on and also gave advice for stimulating my milk production. She thought that it was possible my milk was just delayed because I didn't sleep for 3 days , starting with the night I went into labor. So she encouraged me to "double pump" to trick my body into thinking I had twins. She wanted me to pump every 2 hours in addition to feeding Ellie with the formula (and occasionally offering her the breast) every 3 hours. Dan asked her when I was supposed to sleep, since it usually took at least 30 minutes to feed Ellie and even longer to get her back to sleep. The lady just looked at us, laughed, and said " you're a new mom, you don't sleep!" but in the next breath told me to make sure I got enough rest because that could hinder my milk production...riiiight. Anyways, so Ellie started latching on like a champ and it's so easy now. She can be hysterical with hunger but the second I get her in "feeding position", she calms down and latches on right away. Unfortunately, the double pumping has not helped to increase my supply so I've also started taking this herb called fenugreek, which is supposed to help. I believe that it has helped some but not sure it's enough. I have only been taking it since Saturday so we're still giving it more time. 

The important thing now is that she is growing. She had dropped below 7% of her body weight 2 days after birth because she wasn't getting anything to eat. She started at 8.24lbs (3740 grams) and today she weighs 8.55lbs (3880 grams)!! She sleeps very well at night, at least 3 hours each time but usually she has a 4 -5 hour stint in there as well. The nice thing about formula feeding is that Dan can help. Last night he took both feedings so I could get a full night of sleep. I'm not sure what I'd do without him.

People have asked how the cloth diapering is going. So far, so good! We used disposables for the first few days until she was done with the meconium movements and then we put her right into her bumgenius ones. They've been fabulous! We usually do a load every day or every day and a half because right now she pretty much has a wet diaper every time we change her. But it's really no big deal and they have not been a hassle at all. Plus they help some of her clothes that are too big, fit her better! We are also using cloth wipes and those have been just as easy. I can honestly recommend them to anyone, as long as you have a washer and a dryer. 

I have another blog to write about the care and aftercare differences between here and back home but I think that is another post in and of itself. I want to make sure I document it well so I can remember when/if we have another baby(all you people who say it's the worse pain you forget the quickest are a bunch of liars! :) ).

And now some more pics for your viewing pleasure (ok so probably mostly for the grandparents :) ).