An honest account

Deep Breath.

This has been a long, tough season. After my last post, things continued to spiral downward. Jonas got better (diagnosed with a milk allergy, put on special formula and VOILA! a new , happy, cooing, laughing, child!) but I continued to feel sad, angry, joyless, overwhelmed, etc.

I knew that I wasn't feeling like myself. I kept chalking it up to having a screaming baby and a young toddler, with no family support around. But things kept getting worse, even as Jonas got better and I had two happy kids. Dan and I would have huge arguments over crazy, ridiculous things and I would feel out of control.If I wasn't angry, I was crying. I had zero desire to do anything fun-wanted a break from the kids but didn't really want to do anything. My house was a disaster and I hadn't cooked a decent meal in months. Something was not OK.

I worked in mental health long enough to know that I had all the signs and symptoms of Post Partum depression. Part of me was briefly in denial and just wanted to keep waiting for my hormones to regulate again. But the larger part of me knew that I wasn't ok and needed to do something about it before I drove myself, my husband, and my kids, crazy. I thought about going on some medication but decided first that I wanted to try counseling. I felt like my hormones were still trying to regulate from the birth and I didn't want to throw new chemicals in there. I was/am in no way opposed to medication and felt that if I continued to get worse, I would go on them in a heartbeat but I wanted to try talking with someone first. I made a counseling appointment and went with a feeling of desperation but also with a glimmer of hope.

My counselor was/is fantastic. She helped me to see that it was ok to be depressed and more importantly, to need help. For those who know me, I'm more the helper, not the helpee...hence my work in social work:) But I was so desperate to get back to being me and to bring back a sense of peace to our house, that I didn't care who I told or asked for help.

One of the more difficult aspects of this time was being away from friends and family. We had a couple wonderful friends help us with watching the kids a few times and that was a great blessing.  But I needed more. I needed time to breathe, to think, to journal, to pray, to shower, etc. And had we been closer to family, it would've made that a lot easier. However, we are getting through it.

I feel so much better, especially over the last few weeks. I feel like myself again. I kept telling my counselor that I just wanted to hurry up and get better faster and one of the best things she told me was just to accept where I'm at, to realize I am where I am and to just be. I think that advice helped me to fully accept that I was depressed. I am taking steps to overcome it but for the time being, this is where I'm at and that's ok.

Only for a Season. . .hopefully

Well, we are a little over 2 months in to this 2 babies 14 months apart deal and I can honestly say it's one of the hardest things I've ever done. I've put off writing this until I could start to see the light at the end of the tunnel and hope that I'm not jinxing it now.

These last 2 months have been TOUGH. Ridiculously tough. I knew that there would be sleepless nights and exhausting days but what I wasn't prepared for was a baby who cried. . . a lot. I wasn't prepared for the extreme feelings of being alone, because we had no family around (after our moms left).  I wasn't prepared for the daily feelings of "I cannot do this one more day". I wasn't prepared for the amount of tears that would fall (of mine!) on a daily, sometimes multiple times a day in those early day, basis.  I wasn't prepared to feel like I was inept as a mother because I felt like we were barely surviving each day.

Jonas had a rough delivery (as did I, let's not leave my efforts out here:) ) and from the time he was placed on my chest, he was a crier. He cried for about 30 minutes after delivery, although I can't say I blame the poor kid. He has had terrible gas and also some reflux issues. This has resulted in him having long, loud, crying spells for several hours a day. Call it colic, call it stomach cramps, call it whatever you want but it's miserable. I felt bad for him because I knew he was in pain. I felt bad for Ellie because I would sometimes be short with her because I was so overwhelmed. I felt bad for me and Dan because we were about at our wit's end. Talks with the doctors didn't help, just sympathetic looks as I held my screaming baby and tried to wrangle my toddler. Comments from people about how "heavy" it all must be on me and how it will get better were not helpful.

I found it hard to bond with him early on because of all the crying. I breastfed for the first month but found no real bonding moments in those times. I know everyone says it takes about a month to really establish breastfeeding but a little before a month is when my mom left and I was left to try and breastfeed a screaming baby and take care of Ellie on my own. It was too much.  I quit and have had no regrets. It's just been in the last few weeks where I felt like we've been able to start bonding a little. He's more alert, smiling and cooing, and crying less. I found it hard to bond with a baby when all he does is sleep, eat, and scream.

I worried that something was wrong with him. As hard as I tried not to, I compared him to how Ellie was as a baby. I convinced myself multiple times that something must be wrong with him because he was crying so much and seemed unaware of anything around him. Ellie came out of the womb alert, checking out her surroundings, resting peacefully on my chest. I knew in my head that babies are all different...that boys and girls are different but I just wasn't prepared for just how different they were. My boy seems to have every minor thing wrong with him that you can have! He had a clogged tear duct for the first few weeks, cradle cap on his head and forehead, a flat spot on his head and a preference for looking to one side(which, funnily enough is not the side he has a flat spot on) and has started physical therapy. They initially thought something was wrong with his hips but looks like now those are ok. His gas is worse than an adult's and when we switched his formula to one that helps with cramps, he broke out in a rash all over his body. You know your son has had it rough when the days he has been the happiest are the day he was circumcised and the day after.

But it's not all doom and gloom. I would say that we have more good days than bad days now. My husband is not getting daily phone calls at work with me in tears and screaming babies in the background. Jonas is crying a lot less and when he does cry, the majority of the time he is able to be calmed down quickly, especially if I can hold him. He is smiling, recognizing our voices and faces, rolling over from stomach to back, and has really seem to come alive in the last 2 weeks. The one thing that Jonas and Ellie do have in common is that they are both great sleepers. They both go to bed about the same time, Jonas is waking up once about 1am or 2am to eat and then goes right back to sleep until 7ish. This past weekend, we moved him out of his bassinet in our room and into his crib in Ellie's room and it's gone great. They both sleep through each other's noises and wake ups. So for sleep, I am infinitely grateful because I'm pretty sure I would be writing this from a mental institution if his sleep was horrible.

I hope we are starting to emerge from the heavy, heavy fog that was the newborn stage. Maybe we are just getting to know him better, maybe he's starting to feel better, maybe it's none of that and we really have no clue but whatever is happening, I hope it continues.

To other moms out there who have gone before me in this adventure...people should be paying you the big bucks and slapping medals on you left and right. To moms who are currently in the trenches with me or about to be, I won't tell you that it will get better (although allegedly it will) because that's not helpful right now. But I will tell you that it's ok to cry...a lot. It's ok to share your struggles with people. It's ok to ask for help. It's ok to love your baby but not really like them some days . It's ok to put them down (someplace safe) while they're screaming and walk to a different part of the house where you can't hear them for just a few minutes so you can think straight without the ringing of crying in your ears. It's ok if the one thing you accomplished that day is going to the store without having a major meltdown...from the you or the baby! Things are super hard now but every night, after a hard day, I would think, "tomorrow is a new day". It may be a better or worse day but each day is new and before you know it, you've made it through some of the toughest times and life slowly returns to normal...for a few years anyways.

But the next time I talk about having another baby before these 2 are out of the house, slap me. ;)

Circumcision in a foreign country

Today we took Jonas to get circumcised. I write this blog, not to debate circumcision but to share more about the differences in raising kids in a foreign country.

When we found out we were having a boy, we knew that circumcision was going to be an issue because unlike in the States, most men in Europe (and much of the world for that matter) are not circumcised. It is not a standard procedure in the hospital after birth. So I started asking around, starting with my midwife and then the OB at the hospital where I planned on delivering. The OB told me that it was "impossible" in The Netherlands. Well, I knew that wasn't true because we had some other American friends who had their son circumcised a few years back so I challenged the doctor on that. He then started backpedaling, saying that it was possible but he didn't know where and that maybe we would need to talk to a urologist. He also said that they wouldn't do it at birth and we'd probably have to wait several months. Obviously this guy was not supportive of circumcision or of our decision. We decided at that point that the doctor was a dead end and that google would be a better source than this guy. So long story short, I talked to my friends who had it done and then found the place online.

Fast forward to today. Jonas is 6 weeks old, which still seemed a little too old for our comfort but this was the soonest we could get the appointment. This office only does circumcisions and caters mainly to muslims and jewish people. This office was in Amsterdam and we arrived late due to the trains running behind. It was basically like a doctor's office in the bottom of an apartment complex. At this point, I was still unsure if I was going to go in for the actual procedure or wait in the waiting room. I finally decided that I would, because I wanted to be there to comfort Jonas if he needed it. We get called back and the doctor introduces himself and asks if we have ever witnessed a circumcision before. Dan breaks the ice by saying, "only my own", to which we all laugh and the doctor says he hopes he doesn't really remember it. I forgot until later that I actually have witnessed a circumcision before...two actually. A co-worker during a summer internship in college gave birth to twin boys and she was jewish and somehow I was invited to the ceremony. But that is really irrelevant to this story.

The doctor was very kind and explained everything he was going to do, at which points Jonas would cry and also told us that it could be a little traumatizing for parents, especially because they have to strap Jonas down to the table. After he explained the procedure, he then asked if Dan would prefer to hold Jonas down instead of strapping him so we decided to do that since Dan felt comfortable he could keep Jonas still. The procedure started with the doctor administering some local anesthetic via a few shots. This is one of the times throughout the procedure that he warned us Jonas would cry. And he did...poor guy. But as soon as the last shot was done, Jonas was done crying. It was super weird to me how quickly he stopped crying, until later when Dan pointed out that he was probably numb, hence no more pain from the injection. Jonas cried one other time during it, basically when the doctor was pulling the foreskin back, because he had to apply some pressure but I was able to give him a bottle and then he was fine. There was no crying during any of the actual removal and Jonas was just looking around, holding my hand. The whole procedure took about 5 minutes and then we were done! Jonas was calm and happy and cries more whenever he's hungry than he did during this.

The doctor explained to us that it's much better to get it done early on, for the child's sake. It's typically less painful and they have a much faster recovery time. He said that there is also less likely a chance of an infection in children this small. In fact, he said he's never had or heard of a child under 2 months developing an infection from this procedure. He told us to give him some baby tylenol every 4 hours and that within 2-3 days, everything should be healed up and back to normal. He is on call 24/7 for the first 48 hours in case any sort of complications were to arise.

It's now 5:00am the next morning (his procedure was at 11am the day before) and he's had a better day than he's had all week! No crying, sleeping as usual and we haven't given him anymore tylenol in the last 12 hours. Overall, it went great despite it seeming a little weird that it wasn't done in the hospital, right after birth and that we were both present for it and even active participants.

Just another adventure in the life of an American living abroad!

Jonas's birth story

 Jonas Rex Caputo made his arrival 5 days late on Sunday September 22, 2013 at 8:52 in the morning.He weighed 8.5lbs and was about 19 inches long. His birth was a bit more traumatic for me than Ellie's. Traumatic is probably a bit of an exaggeration as we are both healthy but it seemed that way at the time!

On Saturday night, I started having what I thought could be real contractions about 9pm. I decided to wait to say anything until I was sure and started timing them in my head. We went to bed about 1130 and I told Dan that I thought I was in labor but that they weren't intense enough or close enough to need to go to the hospital. I knew this time I wanted to try and labor at home a little longer than I did with Ellie because those hospital beds aren't the most comfortable. With Ellie, I was only dilated to 3cm when I got to the hospital.

The midwife said not to call the hospital until the contractions were 5 minutes apart, lasting one minute, for an hour. Well it got down to 6-7 minutes and an occasional 5 minutes but never consistently 5 minutes. Finally about 3am I told Dan we should call the hospital and just tell them they were 5 minutes apart because they were getting a lot more painful and I wanted to see if I was making any progress and have the ability to get medicine if I wanted. So we called our friends with a car and had them come get us and take us to the hospital. They got me all hooked up to the monitors about 4:30ish and the midwife came in at 5am and checked me and i was at a 6! Yes!!! The midwife then told me that Jonas wasn't moving down far enough and that my contractions weren't strong enough (HA! I'm pretty sure I gave her a look that could kill. Never tell a woman in labor that her contractions aren't strong enough!)  They gave me medicine to make the contractions stronger. Cue even more intense pain. I told them at that point that I wanted the pain pump because last time with Ellie I had the medicine to intensify the contractions and they just came one right after another with no break in between and it was unbearable. So I got the pain pump and that was nice...for a little while. 

About 7:30am another midwife came in and said I was at an 8 and that the baby still wasn't moving down enough, even with the contraction medicine.So she was going to let me labor longer, increase the contraction medicine and see what happens. At this point, the pain pump was not working. I kept pushing that button to inject more pain medicine but it had zero effect. At 8:30 the midwife came in and checked me again because my heart rate was going way up and Jonas's was dropping. (If you're squeamish, you might want to skip the next  sentence) I was at a 9.5 and she said she was going to manually stretch my cervix the last .5 cm.  That was the worse pain I think i have ever experienced. I had been laying on my side and she had me switch sides because his head was swollen from the side I was laying on and we had to get his head evened back out for him to be able to make it through the birth canal. When she was checking his position again, she felt Jonas and realized he was sunny side up/star gazer (facing up instead of down), which explained why he wasn't moving down despite the super strong contractions as well as explained his distress. So she said that we had to get him out quickly and that if we didn't get him out soon, she would have to use the vacuum.  I pushed for about 5 minutes and once he started crowning, they had me pause so I wouldn't tear too much, then I pushed again and at the end of the push, she grabbed his head and pulled him the rest of the way out and plopped him on my chest. He had such a cone head because of how he was positioned in there, it was hilarious.

(Another disclaimer, if you're squeamish, you might not like this part either) I needed one stitch, which she then proceeded to tell me that they can only use an anesthetic  if I need 3 or more stitches but it was  "ok because you just had a baby, you'll be fine". uh thanks. So she does a stitch and then says "oh I'm really sorry but I did it wrong and I'm going to have to do it again". Uhhh. first of all, what did you stitch up that you weren't supposed to and second of all REALLY? So finally that was all over and she told me that we did a great job and a lot of births in Jonas's position end up in the OR with an emergency C-section due to the baby not moving down fast enough and the distress on the mom and baby. She also said that he was actually rotating in the birth canal while coming out. I don't even know what that means. . .but she acted like it was really rare and said she hadn't seen that before.

And in true Dutch fashion, they came in an hour later and said I could go home. Jonas was born at 8:52am and we were out of that hospital room by 11:45am. We spent a total of 8 hours at the hospital, giving birth to our son.

While I pushed longer with Ellie (an hour and a half), Jonas's birth was more painful and difficult. The actual delivery was some of the most intense pain I have ever experienced, I'm sure because of his position. Despite all of that, we were so blessed to come home with a healthy baby boy.

Our Story-Part 2

We finally arrived in Leiden! After a long journey over the Atlantic, my first time out of America, we landed on Dutch soil. We had a friend waiting there to pick us and our 7 suitcases up and take us to our new home. People asked me a lot in that first year how I could just pick up and move to a whole different country and wondered at how tough it was. Honestly, it was hard at times but also we had the attitude that it was just the start of a new adventure for us. We were newly married and starting our life together. What better way to do that than thousands of miles away from anything either of you have ever known??
We had a beautiful little apartment that we rented online...a few days before the wedding. Yep, that's right. When Dan came back for the wedding, we still did not have a place to live when we went back. The housing market is soo difficult here because it's a university town and we were blown away by the prices. Dan had looked at this apartment before, shortly after arriving but it was just too expensive for us. When we looked again, they had lowered the price and he said it was clean and in a nice location-which was more than he could say about other places he had looked into. So we went for it and I prayed that it would be livable. Thankfully, that house was such a blessing. It was in a perfect location, we had amazing neighbors and it met our needs exactly. It was a one bedroom, one bath/toilet room apartment that we made our own. I love that that was our first place together. 

Life those first few months were...different. Not only were we trying to adjust to married life, we were trying to adapt to a whole different culture. It was great for our marriage because we felt like it was us against the world. We'd come home with funny stories about missed translations, crazy cultural norms, and the different places we had found. We'd spend the weekends exploring the city, looking for a bike for me, and trying to navigate life in this new country. We found an international church where we started to get plugged in at, which led to use meeting some of our great friends.  It didn't take too long before we started feeling at home in our new place.

Now, all this sounds so wonderful but it definitely didn't come without its hardships. There would be days where I would leave the grocery store in tears because I had no idea what things were and where to find what I needed to cook something. Our apartment didn't have any lights when we moved in (it's common here for people to take everything when they leave, including the floors!luckily our had floors) so for a few weeks we survived by candlelight. I almost got ran over several times before figuring out the bike system here. I spent many a day in the early days sitting and watching out the window for Dan to come home from work. But in the end, it was all a part of our adventure.

We went home for Christmas that year because I was on the tv show Wheel of Fortune. Feel free to read that story here and part 2 here.  Talk about reverse culture shock. I think I stood in Wal-Mart for 30 minutes, just overwhelmed at the number of choices I had! It was hard to come back after that but that was the last time I felt that way after going back to the States. Each trip after that, while it was hard to leave family, I was ready to get back to my own home with my own stuff-which happened to be in The Netherlands.

The next year was an exciting one as Dan took me to Paris for my 30th birthday, we went to Italy for 2 weeks for a conference and vacation (Sicily in particular), had friends visit me-where we traveled to Rome, Venice, and Barcelona, took a trip I won on Wheel of Fortune to the Bahamas and went back home for Thanksgiving. Oh, and it's also when we found out we were pregnant with Ellie. :) . 2012 brought morning sickness,a trip back to the US for a baby shower, a babymoon to Venice and then a trip further north in Italy to Lake Como, a beautiful baby that was born 9 days late, a trip to the northern coast of France and Belgium with a 3 week old and finally a few months of rest before jetting off to the States again for my best friends wedding-which meant traveling alone with a 3month old. We spent Christmas there again and by the time we made it back, after cancelled and delayed flights, we had less than a week to pack up our little apartment and get ready to move into a bigger one. 

Right after our move, I was still exhausted and knew it wasn't just from jet lag and moving. I told Dan I was pregnant but he didn't believe me. But those 2 little pink lines don't lie! and thus began our adventure of preparing for baby #2, while having a 5 month old. Then in June we got a call that my dad has passed away unexpectedly so we hopped on a plane and went home to deal with that. That was a really hard few weeks. Finally, we made it back here and celebrated Ellie's 1st birthday and are now preparing for the imminent arrival of baby boy Caputo! 

Our whole marriage has been one big adventure so far. We've had so many incredible experiences that we know we are lucky to be doing together. When I look back at all we've done, there's no doubt that there is no one else I would want to walk this journey with than Dan. He is a big part of what has made this adventure what it has been. I can't even begin to imagine what our future holds. His contract ends next May (2014) and at this point we have no idea what our next adventure will be. But I do know it will be one heck of a ride and that we'll have each other plus 2 more! to navigate it with!

Here are some pics of when we first arrived in Leiden

Our Story-Part 1

Yikes! I still owe a post about Ellie's 1st birthday and I will get to that...I hope. But in light of my 3 year wedding anniversary yesterday, I wanted to write a post about my husband and our story.

We met in college when we were 19 or 20. He was friends with a friend of mine and I had heard a lot about him before actually even meeting him. I actually met him my sophomore year of college when we lived in the same dorm. I put two and two together that he was the guy my friend had talked about. For those who know Dan, or at least knew him in college, he was Mr. Friendly. Part of the reason (ok probably the majority of the reason) he took the "extra long" path to finish his Bachelor's is because he would rather spend all night up talking and hanging out with people, rather than doing homework or getting sleep to get up for class the next day. So we spent a lot of time together that first semester and took random trips to Iowa in the middle of the night, just because the border was 30 minutes away. He left school the 2nd semester due to grades and I spent a few months trying to see if things could work out with an old boyfriend. We didn't have much contact that semester, it was very clear things were over between me and the old boyfriend (and in fact I think he met his now wife a few months after that and they are happily married with beautiful children), and I was going about my merry way in school. Dan came back that following year and we resumed our friendship right where it left off. We continued being just friends for the next 2 years, although I had reached a point where I definitely liked him and wanted a relationship with him. He was a little slower on the uptake.

Fast forward to June 2003 when it all finally clicked for him. I had been on a cross country road trip with my best friend and when we arrived back home, he was waiting for me with flowers and asking me out on a date. We dated a year and everything was great. Then, we went to a friend's wedding and cue the man freakout. We broke up for a little bit after that because he wasn't sure if he could do the marriage thing. It freaked him out. We were 23-24ish and he had not finished his undergrad degree at this point and was unsure of where his life was headed. Eventually he got things figured out, we got back together, he went back to school, finished his undergrad and went on with Master's degree. All this time though, I kept wondering about marriage. I didn't want to push him when he wasn't ready but I also didn't want to keep being with someone who had no intentions of getting married.

To make an even longer story short, he matured and felt ready to take the marriage step. It was a critical time in our relationship because he had accepted a PhD position in The Netherlands. He knew I wasn't going to move with him just being a girlfriend. It was definitely a make or break decision. Little did I know, behind the scenes he was preparing to ask me to marry him.

On Easter morning April 4, 2010, he asked me to be his wife. You can read the proposal story here . It was everything I had dreamed of and more. A month and a half later, he left for The Netherlands to start his position (anddd to avoid all the wedding planning:) ). We wanted to get married as soon as possible, due to him living abroad and us having dated for 8 years at that point. So we set a date for August...4 months after we got engaged, much to the dismay of my mom who definitely thought we needed more time to plan (but we did it mom!). Dan flew back for the wedding (obviously) and it was one of the best days of my life. I was nervous he would be nervous since he had had so many issues with getting married (prior to getting engaged) but he was so confident in his decision and only looking forward to spending the rest of his life with me.  I honestly couldn't believe how calm and cool he was. I'm pretty sure I was more nervous than he was!!

We had such a blast at our wedding and wouldn't mind doing something like that every year:) It was a huge party with all of our closest family and friends. Lots of crazy dancing, late night ghost hunts(for our guests, not us:) ), and people still telling us today how much fun our wedding was. We also had some wedding crashers that came and danced with all of us for awhile. The Ladies of Harley were at the resort for a weekend getaway and saw all the fun going on and asked my mom about it in the elevator. My mom invited them in to come dance and hang out and the rest was history. We didn't want to leave the party at the end of the night...but kind of we did :)

The next day we had breakfast with our parents, which we normally wouldn't have done if we weren't moving abroad in a week and then we headed out for our honeymoon in the Smokey Mountains. It was a beautiful week in a huge cabin(we got upgraded because there was something wrong with our original cabin) that overlooked the Smokey Mountains. We headed back home after a week to finish our packing and say goodbye to our friends and family to start our new adventure as husband and wife in Europe. Stay tuned for Part 2 to read about our adjustment to life here and life since then...in the meantime, enjoy these pics from our wedding!

International differences in pregnancy and childbirth

I know I've posted bits and pieces about the differences between giving birth here and giving birth in the States. As I read more online blogs/forums about pregnancy and childbirth, as well as talking to many international friends from all over the world, I'm struck by all the differences that are out there and how we all are super convinced that our way is the best (and of course the only healthy way) for our child. I thought it might be interesting to highlight some differences I have seen and/or heard, if only to remind myself when I get back to the States that there are other choices out there.

(Keep in mind that I've never been pregnant or given birth back in the States so I am going off of what I've been told by friends back home and other people's experiences that I've read about, as well as my own research while pregnant).So, starting with pregnancy. . .You are typically given a big list of no no's from what not to eat, drink, or do while pregnant. Back home it's no alcohol (although more and more it seems some doctors are okaying it in small amounts), no deli meats, no raw fish, no smoking, and I'm sure more but these seem to be the big ones I see over and over again. In many other countries, alcohol is ok, specifically wine (in moderation), smoking is still a huge no (although you'd be amazed at the number of pregnant women I see smoking here), deli meats are fine and ask most Asian women and they will say they continued to eat sushi throughout their entire pregnancy. I've had friends here say that they've been told not to eat strawberries (could pass on an allergy to your child), who drink coffee and other coffee beverages everyday, if not twice a day and who enjoy a glass of wine with dinner.  To me, it seems like you need to make your best judgement on what is best for you and your baby.
During your pregnancy here, you will see a midwife, unless you have some sort of complication. There's not another option if you have a normal pregnancy. The midwife will deliver you, whether you decide to give birth at home or in a hospital-again as long as everything is complication free. They do not weigh you...ever. They do not test your urine for protein except after you hit 40 weeks. They listen to the baby's heartbeat each appointment, take your blood pressure and send you on your way. I know back home it's routine for you to have your urine tested every appointment and to be weighed. They also only test you for gestational diabetes at 24 weeks with a blood test. No drinking the nasty stuff I've heard horror stories about. You also do not get a group B strep test, which they do in your 3rd trimester in the States. When I asked my midwife about it, she said it wasn't necessary if I had no risk factors. I know another big thing right now is the TdaP booster that the CDC is now recommending in your third trimester to pass immunity onto your baby for whooping cough. That also is not given here and actually not recommended for a pregnant woman. (it is one of the regular vaccines given at 8 weeks to your baby). I have heard of many people back home not allowing grandparents and other visitors to hold the baby unless they themselves get a booster shot.
When it comes time for delivery, you will deliver when the baby is ready to come as long as you and baby are still doing fine. Unfortunately, being big and miserable does not qualify for an induction. They only induce when medically necessary or after you are very near 42 weeks. I practically had to beg to be induced 2 days before I hit 42 weeks (luckily i went into labor on my own a few days before my scheduled induction). The rate of c-sections is very low here. If you're baby is breech and the conditions are right(your pelvis is wide enough,etc) they will try to convince you to deliver the baby vaginally. Ultimately that decision is up to you but a C-section is seen as a major operation and not a routine delivery, as it's becoming in the States.
When the baby is born, barring no problems, you will get to hold him and he will not leave your room until you are ready to walk out the door to go home (well this was my experience and again, everything went very smoothly with my delivery). They will weigh him(no measuring length), give him a vitamin K shot, and hand him back to you for more skin on skin contact. They do not put the eye gel on their eyes, no heel prick, no other shots, no bath. I believe in the States it's common (and sometimes required by law) for the baby to get the eye gel, receive their first Hep B vaccine and get the heel prick, within a few hours after birth.
As anyone knows who read my birth story with Ellie, because we had such a complication free birth and because she was born in the morning, we were sent home 4 hours after she was delivered. That is common here.  They do send you home with a nurse aid type person, which I've already written a blog about back in October (see Kraamzorg blog for more details).
The midwife comes to your house every other day for the first week to check on your recovery. The kraamzorg records how the baby is doing, weights, food intake, diapers, etc. A woman from the health department comes and does a hearing test and the heel prick. Another woman comes from the consultatie bureau, which is where you go for vaccines, well child check-ups, etc(but not for medical things-you see a general practitioner not a pediatrician-for that) and does your first "well child check up" in your home and schedules your next one for a few weeks out.
This is getting super long! But one other area that I know a lot people are curious about that I will touch on briefly is vaccinations. We chose to delay Ellie's vaccines for numerous reasons and to opt out of a few that we didn't find necessary. And I know vaccines are a hot topic but I do think it's worth considering that every country has their idea about what is "necessary". For example, one of the reasons we chose to delay was because we didn't feel the Hep B vaccine was necessary for her at this time. She is at no risk for it (it mainly affects people in the health field, IV drug users, prostitutes, and people who have been in prison) and it is one that if she needs when she is older, than she can get it then. The main reason they do the Hep B at birth and then the few times afterwards is because the population who is at risk for Hep B, they are very difficult to vaccinate at 18, 25, etc. The drug users and prostitutes are not typically great at coming in for medical treatment. The Netherlands just transitioned to where they were recommending the Hep B vaccine be a part of the regular vaccination schedule, about a year or two before Ellie was born. The reason above is what they told me when I called to ask about getting the other vaccinations with the Hep B omitted. Also, in the States, the chicken pox vaccine is now a part of the regular vaccine schedule. That is not given here at all. It is still common to get your kids together with a child who has chicken pox so they can get it and get it out of the way:). There are a few other differences, though the main players (tetanus, diphtheria, polio, pertussis, etc) are given as they are in the States. I share this not to start a debate about vaccinations but just to show that there are differences, even in developed countries, about what is "absolutely necessary" for our children's health.

I'm sure there are a ton more differences but if you're still even reading this, I'll let your brain rest!:) I'd love to answer any specific questions you have about my experience getting pregnant and having kids abroad. In the meantime, I just think it's always good to think outside our own culture and realize that there are other ways of doing things that are equally as good. Annnd to remind myself if I ever have a child somewhere else, that I have options.